📞💰 Welcome to Cold Call Capital™ 💰📞
Where your retirement dreams go to Vegas and never come back.
✨ Led by our Founder & Chief Financial Surpriser, Johnny Cold Call, this boutique firm specializes in:
– Aggressively vague investment strategies
– Nostalgic sales tactics from 1983
– And emotionally reckless crypto plays you’ll definitely regret.
🔔 Office motto? “All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy.” (He printed it 3,000 times. Help.)
🖼️ Yes, that’s his own framed Halloween headshot on the wall.
Want your portfolio saying to itself?
DM for a free consultation + complimentary DVD of Boiler Room.