🔥 SCOUTING REPORT: ALVIN MACK 🔥
📍ESU Timberwolves | #56 | MLB
📐 6’3″ | 245 lbs | Major: Violence
🧠 Football IQ:
Knows every offensive formation… as long as it’s on tape.
Reads plays like a psychic — only cares about two things:
“Kill the quarterback. Kill everybody.”
💪 Strengths:
• Hits like a wrecking ball
• Trash talks before, during, and after the play
• Diagnoses a trap block before the guard can blink
• Delivers 12 tackles and 3 insults per game
🚨 Weaknesses:
• Not interested in class unless it’s film study
• Might get flagged for excessive violence… in warmups
• Career tragically cut short by injury — but NFL talent undeniable
📝 Final Grade: A+ in Destruction
Scouts say he’s a 1st-round pick… if you can keep him eligible.