🚨 BREAKING NEWS FROM INTERNATIONAL WATERS 🚨
The Short Kings Yacht Club has officially set sail — and the world may never recover. 🌊🛥️👑
Kevin Hart and Muggsy Bogues have joined forces in what scientists are calling the “most confident 11 feet of height ever assembled.”
They’re tanned. They’re toned (ish). They’ve got drinks with umbrellas and gold chains that weigh more than they do. 🍹💎
And who’s driving their $90 million luxury yacht?
Just Napoleon Bonaparte himself.
Yes, that Napoleon.
💬 Kevin: “What’s up now, bitches!”
💬 Napoleon: “Did you know I was Italian?”
💬 Muggsy: Silent flex with 7 assist rings on each hand.
The yacht is called “Blown Aparte” because subtlety died somewhere around the third bottle of champagne.
Behind them?
A jacuzzi bubbling with pure ego
A mini basketball hoop no one can dunk on
A sound system loud enough to colonize nearby islands
And a bottle of champagne chilling in a cooler made from melted participation trophies 🏆
This is what happens when charisma, confidence, and historic instability pool their stimulus checks.
📏 Height: 5’ nothing
💸 Confidence: 6’10”
🌎 Global impact: Catastrophic
Tag someone under 6 feet and tell them there’s still hope.