⚔️ THE CLASH OF THE CENTURY 😈 vs 😇
Step aside Super Bowl, World Series, and Apocalypse Now — this is the showdown the universe didn’t ask for but absolutely deserves.
Tonight:
The New Jersey Devils rise from the blazing blue lines of the underworld — skates sharpened, tridents polished, penalty minutes pending.
Across the diamond of destiny, the Los Angeles Angels descend in majestic formation — bats glowing, halos tilted slightly with swagger, wings stretched and ready to fly outta the park.
📍 LIVE from Neutral Ground: Purgatory Park
🏟️ A hybrid ice rink/baseball diamond constructed entirely from broken rules and questionable theology.
🎙️ Commentary by:
Vin Scully’s ghost (still crushing it)
That guy who yells “HE SCORES!”
And a very confused priest
🔥 Pregame ritual: Devils light the bases on fire
👼 Anthem sung by an actual choir of angels (sorry, no autotune)
🎯 First pitch: Straight from a flaming bullpen to a glowing strike zone
🥶 Devils bringing that Jersey heat
☁️ Angels batting with divine launch angle
⏱️ Clock doesn’t matter — this one ends when judgment is rendered
💬 Postgame quote from Satan:
“Honestly, I just wanted to hit cleanup.”
💬 Postgame quote from Michael the Archangel:
“Hockey? I thought this was a prayer circle.”