Atlanta had been avoiding the Kirk Cousins hotline like it was a spam risk. 📵
But down 27–0, they summoned Kirk like a desperate ex at 2am.
And there he was — Cousins sitting up like Dracula in a Falcons jersey, smirking, “You called?”
The stat line? Five completions, 29 yards, 0 touchdowns. A QB rating of 78.9 that screams “I’m technically alive, but don’t get any ideas.” Carolina still walked out with the 30–0 shutout.
This wasn’t about benching Michael Penix Jr. — Raheem Morris swears it was just to “protect the starters.” But let’s be honest: when your first-round rookie QB tosses two picks and back-to-back weeks of empty box scores, suddenly Cousins doesn’t look like the washed-up vet… he looks like a last-resort séance.
Atlanta fans wanted answers. What they got was a reminder that Cousins is still breathing, still throwing, still waiting for a desperate team to come calling. đź‘€
Falcons football: where hope comes in the form of coffins and cameo appearances.