🚨 🚨 THE LEGEND OF SPIKE 🚨🚨
Every freak stat you see here? Straight from Mr. Hammersmith’s insane training program (with Coach O’Shea screaming on the sideline).
📊 Combine Numbers:
➡️ Bench Press: 41 reps (“Milk makes bones strong.” – Mr. Hammersmith 🥛)
➡️ 10-Yard Split: 1.54 (“Water is for sissies.” – Mr. Hammersmith 💀)
➡️ 40-Yard Dash: 4.14 (“Winners always want the ball.” – Coach O’Shea 🏈)
➡️ Vertical Jump: 54” (“Spike don’t play with girls.” – Spike 👀)
📚 College Resume:
After terrorizing Urbania, Spike took his talents to Norman. At Oklahoma, he set weight room records, drank the entire dairy farm dry, and carried the Sooners’ offensive line across campus during two-a-days. 🥛🏋️♂️
His major? Agricultural Strength Training. His minor? Headbutting Trees. 🌳💀
🎙️ Spike on the Draft:
“Spike wants Cowboys. Cowboys are winners. Spike was raised on milk, football, and Dallas highlight tapes. Spike belongs in Dallas.” ⭐️